Not Yet

Someone else being good at something does not mean you are bad at jiu jitsu. Try first, see what you already know, and use your own mistakes to figure out what to work on next.

Sometimes you look over during class and someone else seems to know exactly what to do. They remember the move. Their hands are in the right place. Their feet are where they belong. Maybe they can already use it during sparring.

Meanwhile, you’re still trying to remember what comes next.

It can be easy to look at that and think, “They’re good at jiu jitsu.”

And then, without really meaning to, “Maybe I’m not.”

But those two thoughts do not have to go together.

Sometimes they really will be better than you at something.

That’s okay.

Someone else being good at a move does not make you worse at it. Their progress did not take anything away from yours. It just means they can do something that you are still learning.

Maybe.

But there is a small word that can change what that sentence means:

Yet.

“I’m not good at this yet.”

There is a lot of work hiding inside that word. You have to practice, pay attention, and try things when you are not completely sure they will work. Sometimes you have to get them wrong.

And sometimes you need to try before asking someone to help you.

But before you ask, it can be useful to see how much you can do on your own.

Maybe you remember the whole move. Maybe you remember the first few steps and get stuck. Maybe you put your hand in the wrong place and realize something feels strange.

All of those tell you something.

If you ask for help before you try, you might never find out how much you already knew. But if you give it a try first, you can find the exact part where you need help.

Instead of saying, “I don’t know how to do this,” you might be able to say, “I can get to here, but I don’t remember what happens next.”

That is a much smaller problem to solve.

You try to remember the move without anyone telling you every step. You make your best guess. Then you find out which parts you remembered and which parts still need work.

Maybe you forgot a grip. Maybe your knee was in the wrong place. Maybe you remembered everything but did it in the wrong order.

Now you know what to pay attention to next time.

That can be hard to appreciate when the person next to you got everything right. Their move worked and yours didn’t.

But comparing your wrong attempt to someone else’s right one doesn’t tell you very much about what you are learning.

Your mistake does.

But comparison is not always a very useful way to figure out whether you are getting better.

Someone else doing a move correctly does not tell you which parts you remembered. It does not tell you what you understand better than you did last week. It does not tell you what you need to work on next.

Trying does.

Maybe you can do the whole move now. Maybe you can get halfway through it. Maybe you found one part that you still need help with.

That is information you can use.

You do not have to be as good at something as the person next to you.

You might not even be good at it yet.

What matters is finding out what you know, what you still need to learn, and giving yourself another chance to try.